Five Reasons I Should Not Be a Football Coach

1) I love the fake or going for it on 4th down. I would do one of these about 90% of the time. The other team would probably figure this out & it would not be very successful.

2) I hate 3, go for 7. If 10 yards or less from the end zone, always go for 7. Nothing annoys me more than getting 3 points when you're that close. You should get 7. If you can't get a measly 10 yards, you deserve 0. A field goal is ok when you're further out. Yes, sometimes the game can be won by an extra 3 points but I want 7, dang it! Go big or go home.

3) Uniforms are VERY important. Much time should be spent on picking colors & coordinating the entire look.

4) I have a temper. I would throw chairs or anything nearby when things didn't go my way. I would call the ref "son of a motherless goat" & other choice words if they made an objectionable call. And I don't know all the rules so pretty much every call against my team would be objectionable.

5) I'm not a man & I'm not 40. (Love you, Gundy!)

Actually after further review, these aren't THAT bad. Oklahoma State, feel free to call me if any coaching positions open up!